13 Things Mentally Strong People Don’t Do

Recently I found myself very interested in the lists on LifeHack especially lists such as 10 things successful people do before breakfast. Soon I found various versions of such lists put together randomly by people. Although I appreciate the lists, I wondered on what basis each person created those lists. At around that time, I chanced upon this book by Amy Morin. Her 13 items are listed here: http://m.huffpost.com/us/entry/6341412

After finishing Ch1 and Ch2, I felt I needed to write a blog entry because this is a book that several years from now I want to read again but may have forgotten the title. Unlike the LifeHack lists, Amy is a professional therapist. Her writing comes from real experience of having to pick up pieces of her life having lost mom and husband within two weeks of the other. She also shared stories of patients/ clients whose experiences, I could somehow relate to in my life.

In Chapter 9, “They (Mentally strong) don’t resent other people’s success”, Morin cites a 2013 Study entitled “Envy on Facebook : A Hidden Threat to Users Life Satisfaction ” explains why some people experience negative emotions while browsing Facebook. Researchers discovered that people felt the most anger and resentment when their  “friends” received a lot of Happy Birthday wishes on their birthdays. Frighteningly the study concluded that those who experience a lot of negative emotions while browsing Facebook experience an overall decline in general life satisfaction. (Talk about a double whammy).

Morin advises “Focus on cooperation rather than competition”. Another story she told was how Milton Hershey’s employee HB Reese began another candy company in the same town. While still working in the chocolate factory, Reese used the knowledge he’d gained from Hershey’s to invent his own candy, the peanut butter cups. Although Hershey could have easily viewed Reese as a competitor stealing away customers, he instead supported Reese’s business ventures. The two remained on good terms.  After their deaths the two companies merged which could have ended quire differently had they not cooperated.

Morin advises:

• Create your own definition of success.
• Practice celebrating other people’s accomplishment

She provides another story of how a coach in the US Olympics hockey team  looks for players who could work well together and not one player attempting to steal the spotlight.

Isn’t this true of today’s corporations where team work is necessary as we need the diversity of talents.

I think that every parent, leader, teacher, coach should read this book. Our young people today are subject to so much stress from everywhere that we need to be mentally strong for them.  Even those very familiar with self help books. Her research and practical advice will help anyone keep the faith!