Psst – do you have an emotional habit pattern?
“Mastering Adulthood” by Lara Fielding, PsyD.
Mind Warps: Can our brains distort reality or as Dr Fielding calls them “thinking errors”.
Do you trust your thoughts? One of my clients is going through a “Nobody cares! Im alone in the world” moment. Dr Fielding recommends a Mindful Mastery practice to Validate, Check and Change.
Skill 1: Notice: mind warps (examples below), catastrophizing.
Skill 2: Ask: is the thought 100% true?
Skill 3: Compassionately reframe.
1. All or none, black and white thinking – She always gets all the rewards.
2. Blaming – Hold others responsible for something that went wrong. If not for you, I would have… its all your fault. You screwed up my life. My mom wont let me…
3. Catastrophizing – assume the worst that can happen. I recall a client who thinks the plane will crash when he’s queuing at the visa office.
4. Emotional reasoning – mistake feelings for facts. If I feel nervous, it must be bad.
5. Mind reading – assuming others are upset about you when you see them frowning. She thinks Im stupid.
6. Minimization or Magnification – That doesnt count. My parents taught me not to boast or show off. Afterawhile every time I get a “compliment” or positive feedback from a student, I think they want something out of me. I disregard all the compliments I get from my students. Result – burnout. I magnify all the negative comments from 1 student of a class of 45 or a cohort of 120 students each semester. Lol.
7. Overgeneralizing and time travelling – if it happened in the past, it will happen again. One of my clients who is in her 70s talks about being bullied by her mother in law who died 20 years ago. She talks about this everyday if she has nothing dramatic to complain.
8. Personalizing – why is this happening to me? Eg. When something breaks and needs repair. Rather than thinking, all things break.
Any of these mind warps are common traps for you?
Do pick up this very practical book. Dr Fielding has QR codes for more videos on the topic.
Reflect + Reset + Results